Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Maya: Don't Give Me Diet Tips

Maya met Ajay after a good 6 or 7 years. She had heard from the grapevine that he had recently gotten himself a divorce. He looked older, had put on some weight, he had retained his good dressing sense, but she could see a sure belly blossoming under his shirt. While she was sorry for him, she had no particular inclination of getting him to speak about it. And as the evening progressed, she realised she didn't want him to speak at all.

It was a party, a good party. The dry city is not so dry at personal parties, as we all know. Maya was in a good mood, two drinks down, life was always merry. She circulated and grooved to the music. Her enthusiasm was infectious. She saw Ajay watching her as she danced. Impulsively she gave her butt an extra wriggle and winked at him naughtily. Come on, two drinks down. It's allowed. Random play, old friend, it could have meant SOMETHING.

She sat down for a breather and spoke to a few hot ladies. Yes, some in their mid-thirties and didn't look a day older than 24 and they had 8-yr old daughters! And the topic drifted to Pilates and Yoga and diets. Maya's not fat, but of course she thinks she is! She is not paranoid, she was putting on weight, but a little dietary adjustment and workouts began to help her drop it, slowly, but surely.

And it was then that a male voice was heard. "You want to learn how to drop weight, mujhse pucho. I have lost two kgs in 1 month." The ladies turned. It was Ajay. Maya choked on her drink. But he went on, "Eat 1 khakhra in the morning with a glass of juice..." Maya walked off as she heard his voice trail off.

Nah, had he been worth anything, she'd have seen it long ago.

Moral of the story, my dear male friends: Don't give diet tips to women, unless you don't ever want to get into their pants or you really are best buddies, or you do look like Imran Khan (cricketer or the actor) or you're simply gay!

Maya danced the night in abandon. Yes, she abandoned even conversation with Ajay. He left the party soon after.

7 comments:

Verisimilitude said...

ha! classic!

Nino's Mum said...

hahaha :) priceless wisdom - and oh SO true!

Henri said...

Aye Versi, thanks and Maya rolls her eyes in disbelief!

@ Nino's Mum: Yea, poor Maya, she can deal with her weight, but not the weight of dietary advice from Mr. Bantam-Weight!

Fatema said...

Really enjoyed this one. And loved your new profile picture.

Neil said...

haha .. good to know, again! :)

jeetpal said...

ha ha ha funny, did you try Baroda or Surat?

it's the same experience for man, i went on the date and first question of the girl was do you like narendra modi?

Henri said...

@ Fatema - Yea, had to put up a sassy one to go with the image...and yea, I love this post.

@ Neil - Glad to help, and can't wait to read your blog.

@ Jeet - Chalu karo itna hi peppy blog, let's compete! And come on, Narendra Modi is better conversation than Khakhra and juice ;) Too bad you're not a hindu-vaadi! Or are you one and felt insulted because she asked you that, of course you know NaMo! ;)

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