#10 - "I’ve been thinking and this really doesn’t fit into my plan of things."
This is what my boyfriend in school told me. He couldn't plan his way down an empty street, let alone other 'things'. I think he picked this excuse randomly from some book.
#9 - "I think I’m falling in love with her best friend and I don’t know what to do."
I heard this in college from a guy who was dating a friend of mine. He ‘realized’ that he was falling in love with a friend of hers (not me, thankfully) and didn’t know what to do, so he tells another friend of hers – me. I wanted to throw up. My friend deserved better and I told her about the mindless jerk. She dumped him unceremoniously. Good girl.
#8 - "Come on, I couldn’t call you during my engagement! But you know I love you. Really."
A friend of mine, was cut up when the woman he loved got engaged to someone else. A day after the engagement, she calls him up and says these words. Common sense tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around and finally listened to it. Phew.
#7 - "I’m going to marry you. As soon as I divorce her."
Heard this one too often. All you smart women out there – dump the married man. Please.
#6 - "I don’t know whether my mother will like you."
This coming from a guy who was a few years younger than me was a bit too much. Bye bye, Norman Bates.
#5 - "I don’t how it happened, I’m sure I don’t love her. Really."
I once dated a guy who couldn’t spell ‘extraordinary’. This same guy sent his ex-girlfriend an ‘I loovvve yoouuu’ mail. And then, asked me to check his mail for him. Gave me his password. When I saw the ‘failure delivery’ msg to that mail, and confronted him – these were his brilliant words. Thank you, universe, for gifting me this ridiculous excuse to break up with him.
#4 - "I started feeling that you weren't there for me."
Two years in a long-distance relationship. I gave up my sleeping hours for this guy. Worked all day and then talked at night. There were nights I'd get 3 hours of sleep, and yet I'd get up and proof-read his projects. Then, I got a job where I had to travel a lot. A month later, I get this never-ending mail - which could be condensed to this one line. Said my goodbyes and spent the next half year travelling and NEVER regretted it.
#3 - "I can’t deal with how much you think."
Told to a friend of mine. Who is gorgeous, articulate, entertaining. But oh, she's also smart. Damn, I guess that was just too much for him. Well, at least he was smart enough to know how dumb he was. I'll give him that much.
#2 - "I think I like you as a sister/brother now."
Bleagh. I know lots of people who feel this way about their Ex's, but it's pretty gross to hear this when you're still in love with the other person.
#1 - "I didn't get the time. Really."
3 years of being together + one year of a bad break-up + one year of reconciliation. At the end of which I found out that he was cheating on me. When I asked him why he didn't tell me, I got this priceless gem. I had to laugh. Couldn't he have made something up? Something less mundane, something less boring? I mean 5 years of being together, one way or the other, deserved a little more imagination! Ah, well - it got to No. 1 on this list.
