Will I Ever Find True Love?

It's something I have always wondered since I was 13. No, I didn't develop early like Rachel Green of FRIENDS, the sitcom. But I had an elder sister who was about 17 then, and had a series of boys lining up to take her out. My sister got married at 21, to the love of her life! Yes, some people do have all the luck! I was insanely jealous because my brother-in-law is quite the catch!

And so in every boy I dated thence, I looked for Mr. Right. I went out on my first date at 15. It was my sister's friend. He was 2 years older than her, which means he was 21 then. I'd thought he was the bees knees. Yes, yes, I realise, he was probably too gross to get a girl his age; or he was just a creep who liked them young. Anyway, that lasted a few months and went into the pooper when he started dating a friend of mine, who was 13! Well, so we know that he WAS gross, and also a creep!

And thereafter there was no looking back in how many men let me down - The guy who wanted to marry me when I was 18, the guy who came in his pants just as we held hands (no pun intended), the guy who was obsessed with my best friend and went out with me to take revenge because she'd dumped him (rightly so, you might say), the guy who used the F word as punctuation, the guy who was addicted to (other) women wearing leather underwear...to name a few.

And these are some who liked me, but I thought of them as friends, so they went out of their way to screw my happiness - The one who never kissed (me) but did tell, the married man (a childhood friend) who said we should have sex because we didn't when we were 15 (don't ask me what that means!),the one who threatened to tell my then boyfriend that I slept with him (the "pal" guy), the one who'd cry if I said I was too sleepy to talk on the phone at 3 AM, the guy whom I met just once and who said he'll move cities for me and that he'd thought of me and masturbated, the one who promised to kill himself if I didn't sleep with him (and then broke his promise even though I didn't! No integrity, I tell you!), the guy who wrote letters with vermillion or sindoor to make me think it was blood...to name a few yet again.

And then there are some who I thought were my soul mates, yet unavailable to me - The guy who looked like Jim Morrison and drank like him too (married my friend, ended up in rehab, of course), the guy who taught film-making at NID and turned out to be gay, the guy who wrote poetry and strummed the guitar but never took a bath, the guy who had wonderfully long hair, BUT heard that it was indeed long everywhere (eww), the guy who had the best lips but never flushed the loo...to name, well, you know, a lot.. :D

And so when Roberto and I started having long-distance problems, I realised that I was better off being addicted to the internet. And slowly I found a friend in the internet. Whether it was companionship or gossip or information or simply trivia, it had everything I'd ever wanted in a man and yet never once let me down. I began to rely on it more and more for every little thing. And then, this was the last straw. I started using "The Magic 9 Ball" a so-called soothsaying online site, in hopes of knowing what my future holds for me. And this time, even the internet showed me my place!

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WILL I EVER FIND TRUE LOVE? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA